Kevin Bronson on September 22nd, 2014

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By Molly Bergen

In some ways, it seemed to be a perfectly average day for the Sunset Strip, a land where angel wings carved onto shoulder blades and octopus tentacle tattoos are considered chic. In other ways, it was most definitely the first day of the Sunset Strip Music Festival, newly expanded to two days and bursting at the seams with … well, the Sunset Strip.

• ||| Photos by Carl Pocket

Sunset Boulevard had closed down between Doheny and San Vicente, and three stages had been erected in the available space. Ladies with cropped mesh tops and white water pistols tucked into their leather skirts wandered around openly flirting with disaster as security eyed their toy guns warily. Four giant garishly painted guitars with Bowie and Aerosmith painted on them, neither of who were playing that day, were posted near the Gibson tent. Fringe purses, leopard print covered everything, black corsets and dark thigh high tights were the standard wardrobe for most. Free Jack Daniels bandanas were handed out by buxom stick figures with spidery lashes, as well as Kind bars, and dumpsters full of Coca-Cola. Shiny-faced bros with gelled hair climbed into three white Jaguars that were on display in the middle of the street and threw up gang signs while their friends took their next Facebook profile pictures. You know. The usual.

Here were five memorable moments in the middle of all the mayhem on Day 1:

5. NIGHTMARE & THE CAT

You Should Have Been Here Because: It was their last show. That’s right. Lead singer Django Stewart got onstage and announced that this was Nightmare & the Cat’s final gig. It shocked most in the audience, but Nightmare & the Cat (absent Claire Acey and Spike Phillips) went out with a bang – and with band friend and artist Gary Baseman again joining them so onstage for a bout of live-illustrating. Baseman’s signature characters joined in too; as the first song began, a black cat in a black and white dress shimmied on stage, followed Baseman, who set up a giant easel to paint a little girl with a purple dress and a black cat going through the middle of her stomach. Then a long-haired couple dressed in 1950s waitress dresses complete with aprons the color of Pepto-Bismol came out to keep the dance party moving and finally what appeared to be a pink otter climbed on stage to join in the festivities. Nightmare & the Cat’s sugary, fast-paced rock had very little effect on the crowd – perhaps it was the heat, but the only people who seemed to be getting down were the ones on stage.

Postscript: Some horrible woman brought her Chihuahua in her purse and the poor thing was shaking during the whole set. It looked terrified. Who brings a dog to a rock concert?

4. FARTBARF

You Should Have Been Here Because: NASA suits and cavemen masks almost always ensure a good time. In the darkened gloom of the Whisky A Go Go, three cavemen in light blue jumpsuits took the stage with two synthesizers and a drum kit. Their names neatly written on their lapels, Fartbarf quickly won over the crowd with their space-age dance music. It was the kind of thing that one would expect Judy Jetson to listen to at her high school prom. The rubbery masks made it looked like they were trying to consume their microphones. Robotic vocals, sharp poppy synthesizers and massive drums kept the crowd bouncing along, occasionally screaming, “This is awesome!” in a fit of unexpected joy. Because, honestly, who expects a band named Fartbarf to be good? Halfway through the set, I think most of us started secretly hoping that they were in fact aliens brought here to bring rock to our planet, and had to wear masks to keep their identities secret. They were one band on the Sunset Strip that not was resting on their looks, that’s for sure.

Postscript: Staring at the giant murals of Jim Morrison on the wall, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would have liked Fartbarf. I believe he would have.

3. ZION I

You Should Have Been Here Because: It was way more fun than Crosses. Who wants to mope around in black leather when you can have a good old-fashioned hip-hop dance party in the dusty gravel parking lot next door? Baba Zumbi and Amp Live were driven to make sure everyone had a good time and the crowd was with them. They did anything they asked. Hands in the air? Done. Fists in the air? No problem. Sing along? You got it. Zion I was unstoppable. Even the San Francisco pride song “The Bay” passed muster with the crowd. Not a single heckle was uttered. Who could be mad at a duo who would dedicate songs to “party people” and “dreamers”? It would take a heart of stone. The air was thick with herbal smoke and everyone was delighted when the two challenged each other to a speed rap off. Drunk happy people shouting “Peace!” and wearing their free sunglasses in the dark and kicking up the dust like tiny dirt devils as the sun set.

Postscript: At the stage next door you could hear the Mayor of West Hollywood announce to the crowd “This is going to be a really fun night. Get drunk. Get laid. Rock ’n’ roll!” You could actually watch the security guards cringe.

2. COLD WAR KIDS

You Should Have Been Here Because: Long Beach-bred Cold War Kids were here to try out their new album “Hold My Home” on the big stage. They couldn’t have picked a more receptive crowd. As lead singer Nathan Willett’s unmistakable, raspy voice roared the lyrics to their opener, 2008’s “I’ve Seen Enough,” a shiver of delight ran through the tipsy crowd. Only one guy in the world sounds like that. Cold War Kids’ strength comes from strong rock songs, peppered with emotional shrapnel, delivered by a guy who makes you believe that he’s reliving every single word. That being said, Willett seemed nervous about the new material. He kept announcing the fact that the songs were new before every single song, which got to be jarring. Half way through the set he said,”Okay enough fooling around. We came here to do something, right?” The crowd stared at him with a resounding silence. “Right?” Dude, we don’t know. Maybe? So you’re saying the first part of your set was half-assed? Just play the music already. We are into it. When he stopped fretting and picked up the mic everything was great. Along with some of their new album, they played their hits “Something is Not Right With Me,” “Hospitals,” “Hang Me Up to Dry,” and the very appropriate “Santa Ana Winds.” That band is a never ending supply of gut-punching lyrics that will sock you right in the feelings.

Postscript: There were a number of drone cameras buzzing around the crowd. Are drone cameras the future? God, I hope not.

1. JANE’S ADDICTION

You Should Have Been Here Because: Jane’s Addiction may be nearing its 30th anniversary, but the SSMF 2014 honorees obliterated the competition Saturday night. Introduced by Kat Corbett of KROQ, the band walked on stage to crowd that stretched as far as the eye could see. Jammed into every nook and cranny of Sunset Boulevard, people craned their necks and stood on bar tables to catch a glimpse of their hometown heroes. Most of the crowd looked like they had bought “Nothing’s Shocking” when it first came out in 1988, but this time around they were going to record it on their cellphones for posterity. Selfies were taken. YouTube footage was acquired. A poster of the album cover hung at the back of the stage, two naked ladies sitting comfortably on a couch with their hair on fire. Jane’s Addiction took to the stage precisely at the stroke of 9 p.m. and performed their breakout album in its entirety. Clad in a grey coat and black hat, lead singer Perry Ferrell sprang on a stage, as sprightly as a man half his age. “Oh my gosh, it’s the greatest honor a fellow could ever have,” he beamed. “We feel like we shine here in Los Angeles. New York doesn’t appreciate us because we were always yours.” Jane’s performed the whole album, and not a hair out of place. And then almost as if to prove that nothing is shocking, they had some ladies that hung from hooks, clad in black lingerie, fly around the stage, suspended by cords. When they come back for their 50th anniversary, it’s clear the Sunset Strip will still belong to that band, mind, body, and soul.

Postscript: There was more than one parent who thought that bringing their children to a Jane’s Addiction show at the Sunset Strip Music Festival was a good idea. To be fair, so did Perry Ferrell, who brought his son on stage after the last number.